Breakups suck. You meet someone, fall for him or her, spend most of your time hanging and talking, and then suddenly, abruptly, it ends and you are no longer "friends." In some ways, dealing with a breakup can be worse than grieving death, because at least with death you don't have an option to see the other person. With breakups, you must fight the urge to reach out and stop by so you can get over...

The most important lesson I've learned dating in the past decade is date someone who shows up. Someone who calls and texts and is present, who makes set plans to see you, who doesn't play some bullshit game about his level of interest, what he's up to, how he feels about you, where his head is at. Date someone who impatiently insists he must see you again, touch you again, do whatever he can to make you feel desired, sexy, important. Someone who does not claim you on...

I've always traveled alone. I like to tell myself it's only because I like the freedom, the lack of obligation to another, to his desires and schedules and hang-ups, not wanting to compromise on my need to go, to do, to explore when I want, where I want. I like to tell myself I travel alone because I don't want someone to get in my way.  But it's more than that: I travel alone because part of me fears...

Do we wait for our partners to change? At night, as the sun sets, my go-to coffeehouse transforms into an intimate wine bar. Back for the second time today to write, with Monkey on my lap, many others converse, sip, and munch with their dates and close friends amidst candle light. It's Wednesday night. In front of me, a man sits alone, but soon enough another joins, and then another. The three, obviously close buddies, sip beer (instead of wine) and...

As a kid, if your teacher said, "You won't be graded in this class. You all get A's. I just want you to be present, get creative, put your heart into your work," I bet the stress of all the to-do's and the fear of expectations, of not meeting deadlines, of not following others' restrictive rules would fall away. It'd be you and the work—all pleasure, without any anxiety. And with that comes immense freedom. Why do we...