I used to think women who date men who don't treat them well don't have enough self-worth. I used to think these women don't believe they deserve better, that they're settling out of fear of being alone, of not being good enough. But maybe, all these years, I've been wrong. I watch the guy exit through my complex's metal gate, shuffling across the street in his black hipster jeans and stretched-out white T-shirt, his unzipped backpack hanging...

The most important lesson I've learned dating in the past decade is date someone who shows up. Someone who calls and texts and is present, who makes set plans to see you, who doesn't play some bullshit game about his level of interest, what he's up to, how he feels about you, where his head is at. Date someone who impatiently insists he must see you again, touch you again, do whatever he can to make you feel desired, sexy, important. Someone who does not claim you on...

I've always traveled alone. I like to tell myself it's only because I like the freedom, the lack of obligation to another, to his desires and schedules and hang-ups, not wanting to compromise on my need to go, to do, to explore when I want, where I want. I like to tell myself I travel alone because I don't want someone to get in my way.  But it's more than that: I travel alone because part of me fears...

Do we wait for our partners to change? At night, as the sun sets, my go-to coffeehouse transforms into an intimate wine bar. Back for the second time today to write, with Monkey on my lap, many others converse, sip, and munch with their dates and close friends amidst candle light. It's Wednesday night. In front of me, a man sits alone, but soon enough another joins, and then another. The three, obviously close buddies, sip beer (instead of wine) and...